My grandmother died suddenly in early 2019. I sat by her side the night before she died, stroking her arm. In the four days after she passed,  I hugged more people than I usually do in a month. In regular times, I don’t feel very comfortable with touch, but in my grief, the embraces, the squeezed fingers, the solid hands on my shoulder all felt grounding. When loss made me feel broken, touch helped me feel supported and held together. 

Fourteen months later, mere days into the Covid-19 lockdown in Delhi, my grandfather died of a sudden heart attack during a routine check-up in his doctor’s office. This time there were no shoulders to lean on, hands to hold on to, hugs to be comforted in. Despite wanting to be with us and offer solace, friends and family (obviously) had to stay in their own homes and abide by the lockdown. The loss is compounded by the loneliness. 

This reminds me that so much of what we do is social – births, deaths, learning, winning, losing, leisure. Friends and family want to take part in our joys, commiserate about our sorrows. Of course, we can do things and take part in activities as individuals – as someone who loves solitude I understand this. But so many of our activities of work and leisure result in us, perhaps without us consciously choosing, becoming parts of communities of others who share similar interests. 

I wonder how our societies and communities will look like in a world after this pandemic. We are told repeatedly that to ‘defeat’ the virus we must engage in the unfortunately named practice of social distancing. To me, this suggests not only the physical distancing we must engage in to keep ourselves and others in our communities safe, but also seems insidious. To socially distance, suggests to me to cut off from your social context, to keep yourself apart from the other members of your society, to see yourself as distinct from your community instead of connected, linked, inter-dependent. In India, especially, it seems to me to mirror caste practices. 

In his opinion piece in the New York Times, the novelist Orhan Pamuk is hopeful that a better world can emerge on the other side of this pandemic. But he is certain that for this to happen, we must acknowledge the interconnectedness of our lives as human beings and feel a sense of solidarity with those around us. If we do this – practice physical distancing along with social solidarity – maybe on the other side of this pandemic, there is a hug awaiting all of us.