Johanna Rabindran

Although, technically speaking, all humans eat food, the practices related to cooking, eating, and feeding are deeply embedded in culture and identity. Politics and power are reflected in food practices (the vegan movement, the beef ban, malnutrition, and so on). In The Anthropology of Food and Body, Counihan argues that as a site of resource allocation, food practices also produce and reproduce power relations within the household.

In Stri Dharma Niti, Pandita Ramabai tells young wives “you should not eat more or better than the others in the house. Whatever eatable is brought home should be divided properly among all, and you should be content with the rest. You should not feel hurt if you do not get a share. In this fashion you should behave unselfishly towards everything…”. Women are (or were) socialised to eat last, to eat the leftovers, to not be disappointed if they couldn’t taste the delicacies. The best pieces of meat are unofficially reserved for the men of the family. Virtue was in being generous, self-sacrificing, in not being disappointed. This deepens the inequality that already exists between, say, a wife and her husband, or a woman and her son-in-law.

Next time you eat with family, observe how gender is acted out through food. Who comes to the table first? Whose tastes determine the menu for the family? Who puts away the leftovers? Who gets how many pieces of chicken?

In our house, all treats are scrupulously divided into four equal shares. We fry cutlets in multiples of four. When we got a box of glorious Belgian chocolate, we actually wrote our initials on the silver foil with blue gel pen (so everyone can taste all the flavours). Still, within my extended family, I’ve witnessed countless instances of  inequality in food practices.

My grandmother is always serving others before serving herself, eating the smallest or fewest cutlets without complaint. Even during her 70th birthday party, she was fussing around in the kitchen, nudging my elbow, saying “give to that uncle first”. Now that we’re older, my sister and I keep an eye on her plate. Pattima*, this is yours, why are you giving it to me. Pattima have another one. And she always says, I have taken, I have taken. You eat.

My grandmother loves chocolate ice-cream cones (she despises the little tubs with a passion, but I’ve never seen her refuse a cone). Last December, we were sitting in the sun, my sister, my grandmother and I. We had three delicious ice-creams and no responsibilities whatsoever. This is the pleasure I want her to have all the time—the freedom to eat unapologetically, slowly, to revel in the taste of food instead of worrying about everyone else

*Pattima = Grandma

References

Counihan, C. (1999). The Anthropology of Food and Body: Gender, Meaning, and Power. Psychology Press.

Ramabai, S., & Kosambi, M. (2000). Pandita Ramabai through her own words: Selected works. New Delhi: Oxford University Press.